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Buffalo Billy
An Autobiography

“Buffalo Billy is my only Muppet-ty character. He’s the chance I have on stage every night to be the kind of kid I always wanted to be: freethinking, acerbic and witty. Even though most of his humor is aimed at me, I like working with Buffalo Billy for a strange reason. Billy is totally made of foam; and as large as he looks with his big green cowboy hat on, he only weighs five pounds! He’s so lightweight I can puppeteer for hours and my right hand doesn’t cramp up!”
-Ronn Lucas     

billy

[As told to the Rodeo Reporter of  “The El Paso Times”]

First off, let’s set the record straight: Just ‘cuz I’m made of foam, I am NOT a puppet! That is politically incorrect thinkin’ anyway. I prefer the to call myself “Nerf Person.” That has a good ring to it, don’t ‘ya think? Or maybe I should use the handle “Cabbage Patch Adult” (…There’s no face like foam! There’s no face like foam!)

If nobody’s told you yet, my name is Billy. Buffalo Billy. I’m a West Texas Cowboy and I’m probably of distant Irish descent b’cuz of my red hair n’ all (Does that mean I could change my name to Buffel O’Billy?). Oh, and don’t bother asking me where I got my big green hat. It came with the head. 

I’m one of Ronn Lucas’ oldest show-biz characters and my fans consider me to be intellectually brilliant and precocious – fancy fifty-cent school words!  Ronn would probably tell you that I’m a “Con Man.” He’d say that I’m incorrigible (which has nothing to do with cardboard I found out), uncontrollable and that I seek to mess his plans up. I have to admit I AM a bit conniving. I do like to get away with … well, everything! Mostly it’s because I just see the world different from most folks. For example, if I asked you how many seconds there are in a year, what would you answer? You’d probably start doin’ the math. “Lessee here, there are 60 seconds to a minute. 60 minutes to an hour, 24 hours to a day … ” and so forth. And from my point of view you’d be waaaay wrong. Why? There’s only 12 seconds in a year. That’s right, January second, February second, March second, … etc.

I try not to addle Mr. Lucas with the fact that I’m smarter’n he is. Poor boy jus’ can’t wrap his brain around that kind of competition.  Anyhowz. I do like to play with Ronn’s mind; however, and I do it real sneaky like. I think I’m important to the show cuz’ I challenge his perception of reality. Ronn may not have any personal philosophical leanings, but as for me, I’m an Existentialist.

My Hobbies are crossword puzzles, watching the History Channel, crank phone calls, Shakespeare and Sudoko. I’m a member of MENSA (Ronn missed out joining by a couple of points).  I have no favorite foods because I don’t need to eat. Besides, I’m not Scotch-Guarded and I tend to stain.

Well I’d better wrap this up. Currently, Ronn and I share a new comedy show at the Excalibur. The place is powerfully cute and pretty darn excitin’! All of the audience seats are all close to the stage and set up like a stadium; or like a real fancy movie thee-ater. …Oh, and even though I don’t think it’s necessary, Ronn also works with some other ‘puppets’ too. I don’t really mind that Lucas has puppets in our show. For Ronn Lucas especially, I think doin’ little puppets are good therapy.

That’s it. Bye for now. Take care. Take it easy. If it’s easy take it twice. I remain Puppetually Yours! (NOT!)

Buffalo Billy


Cowboy Buffalo Billy, Scorch the Teenaged Dragon, Chuck the Disposable Punk Rocker, as well as several other oddly fascinating characters, are all a part of “The Ronn Lucas Show” now playing at the Excalibur. Performances are daily at 1 p.m, dark Mondays. General admission is $29.95 plus tax and handling fees. VIP admission is $39.95 plus tax and handling fees.